Domestic abuse survivor divorces husband she has no contact with: Rachel’s story

In early 2023, Rachel* sought advice from a domestic abuse helpline as she grappled with the painful reality of her marriage. Over time, she had suppressed her concerns about her husband’s behaviour, determined to carry on as if everything were normal. When she finally spoke to the helpline, they took immediate action by contacting the police on her behalf.

The police arrived at Rachel’s home, arresting her husband on the spot. Following his arrest, he was given a suspended prison sentence, and the court granted Rachel a five-year restraining order. This legal protection was significant, but it also marked the beginning of a challenging journey for Rachel.

“I felt like I’d had the rug pulled from underneath me. It took me a long time to get my head around what happened because I was still calling him my husband,” Rachel reflected. “It took me a good nine months to come round to the idea that I had to divorce him.”

Seeking legal help for a fresh start

Determined to rebuild her life, Rachel joined a programme designed for those emerging from abusive relationships. It was there that her programme leader suggested contacting FLAG DV, a local charity providing free legal advice to domestic abuse survivors.

Rachel, who had never used a solicitor before, felt lost and overwhelmed by the legal challenges ahead.

“I needed pointing in the right direction because I’d never used a solicitor in my entire life. It’s a world that I’d never stepped into,” she said. “What really hit home at that point was that there is so much help for people in abusive relationships to support you to get out of that relationship. But then suddenly, when it comes to the practicalities of the legal stuff, I felt like I was alone and didn’t know where to turn.”

Rachel’s immediate hurdle was initiating divorce proceedings without knowing her husband’s address. The restraining order legally prohibited any direct communication with him, making the process seem insurmountable.

FLAG DV’s role in Rachel’s journey

FLAG DV stepped in to connect Rachel with volunteer solicitor Katherine Semlyen of the law firm Merali Beedle. During a half-hour call, Katherine provided Rachel with critical legal advice, explaining that it was possible to proceed without a physical address and outlining a range of practical options.

Through this conversation, Rachel discovered several pathways forward:

• She could begin divorce proceedings using only an email address.
• A “care of” address, such as a relative’s, could be used as a workaround.

These options gave Rachel clarity and confidence to move forward. “Katherine’s guidance was really helpful. Knowing my options was a huge relief,” she said.

Katherine, a dedicated volunteer with FLAG DV, explains her motivation:

“I want to help vulnerable people at a difficult time in their lives and find this a very satisfying way to use my skills and experience. I am passionate about ensuring that victims of domestic abuse can feel fully informed and empowered in moving forward with their lives away from an abuser.”

Rebuilding and moving forward

Thanks to FLAG DV’s support, Rachel began negotiations through a mediator and is close to finalising her divorce. She now feels hopeful and empowered about her future.

“FLAG DV was a real beacon of hope when I needed it,” Rachel says. “I just want to tell the world that it’s a brilliant thing.”

*name changed to protect anonymity